“I love talking about money with my family!” said no one ever. Most of us will agree that there is more to life than money, but regardless, it’s very important for most of us — especially when we feel like we do not have enough. Money can become a consuming focus that leaves us feeling powerless and sometimes even worthless. Talking about money is a helpful way to regain our sense of power and remind ourselves […]
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Life after work
We spend months or years preparing for many significant life events. The first for many of us was the build-up to going to ‘big school’. Our three-, four- and five-year-old selves grew increasingly excited, right up until the day school started and then there was an overwhelming flow of emotions that may have been more negative than positive. When you stand in the playground of first-graders on the first day of school, you’re bound to see […]
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Why do we become people pleasers?
We all have reasons for doing things. It might be because we’re sticklers for following rules, or perhaps we avoid difficult situations and emotions by constantly focusing on the positives. Maybe our motivations come from a restless spirit or a drive to keep control and order – but for some of us, we become people pleasers. It may not be in every area of our life, but in certain situations, we may find ourselves defaulting to […]
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Visualisation and stress
Not all stress is bad. But, if left unmanaged and unchecked, stress can become quite unhealthy for us. We all know many causes of stress, but we don’t always slow down enough to think about the specifics that are causing stress in our own lives. Money, health, family, friends, work, safety and security – are all prevalent triggers, and the sheer volume makes it difficult to intentionally focus on what’s causing us stress. One of the […]
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Seeing the light.
There are many reasons for our increased stress levels – the use of technology and how it has changed our communication with each other and the world around us is complex and deeply integrated with our wellbeing. But where we used to follow seasons and the flow of the natural world around us, we have now created new rhythms and patterns and this has disrupted our Circadian Rhythm. The term Circadian Rhythm refers to our body’s […]
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Recognise. Interrupt. Change.
“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” – Sheryl Sandberg The foundation of most of our ongoing frustrations can be traced back to our habits, and the challenge with habits is we often aren’t even aware of them. When the world went into COVID lockdown, there was an increased awareness of face-touching, hand-washing and social distancing. All of a sudden, we became aware that […]
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Finding the healthy positive
Everything we know, believe, and feel is based on our internal thoughts. Positive thinking gives us extraordinary power over our thinking and ourselves (Strycharczyk & Clough, 2015). Some people are exceptional; they always seem to remain positive regardless of what lemons are tossed their way. You know the type, the every-cloud-has-a-silver-lining, glass-half-full, things-will-get-better type of people. We love to have them around when we need their support, but we can also envy their seemingly relentless positive […]
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Messy, not perfect
It’s hard not to become fixated on getting things perfect. It may not be in all areas of our lives, but for almost all of us, we have skills, relationships and responsibilities where we want to show up as perfect. As Dave and Hester Vaughan (yourjourneyforlife.com) often say, “Messy, not perfect!” This is a great reminder that we mustn’t fall into the perfectionism trap. If we do, we will find piles and piles of frustration. As […]
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The importance of boundaries
Every day we make decisions to live a life of our choosing. But yet, when asked about what our ideal life could look like, it’s often quite different from the one we’re living right now. Our decisions link our current life to the life we’d like. With every decision, we’re either establishing a new boundary, moving a boundary or removing a boundary. Unfortunately, if we spend too much time removing boundaries, we will become increasingly frustrated, […]
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When you think you can’t
Stress can be an incredibly powerful motivator. Most of the time, we see it as a negative, but that’s because our days are generally overwhelmed with stress. And, our coping skills have evolved to help us survive in environments very different (Cosmides & Tooby, 2013). Our mind protects us from harm and further stress by telling us that “we can’t”. Coping with everyday life is complex and learning to make healthier decisions is a lifelong journey; […]
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